4 Advanced Eye-Gazing Practices
We love eye-gazing!
Last week, I shared about Why eye-gazing is a thing in Tantra – feel free to start with that article and then come back to this one. I a nutshell, eye-gazing creates intimacy, drops us into the present moment, and bypasses our normal egoic state of consciousness. It’s a way to open into our higher Selves.
This week, I’m excited to share with you some techniques for going deeper into the practice of eye-gazing!
1. Combine eye-gazing with EFT Tapping
I’m currently co-leading a queer men’s group called Sexcrafting along with my amazing friend Finn Deerhart and one of the skills he’s sharing is EFT Tapping while eye-gazing. I’m loving it!
Tapping is a tool to help our bodies process stress. It’s a way to tell our nervous system that everything is ok and helps our bodies to relax. Here’s a primer video on Tapping.
You can do tapping solo, but it’s even better while you’re eye-gazing! If you feel uncomfortable or triggered while eye-gazing, tapping helps process that activation in real time and opens up more space for intimacy and connection.
Sit across from your partner and set a timer for 5 minutes. Go through the tapping sequence together while gazing into each other’s eyes. If you have some challenging feelings to process, one partner can witness and mirror while the other uses the tapping-style statements.
2. Music meditation
At some point I’ll dedicate an article to the beauty of meditating to music. Music can be incredibly evocative of emotional and energetic states. In Tantric practice, we want to cultivate awareness with each one of our chakras and one of the best ways to do this is to play music with the energy of that chakra.
As we’re eye-gazing with our partner, music can take us on a shared journey together. It gives us a flow to relax into. If you want to open up into a deeply intimate space with your partner, I recommend eye-gazing to the song I Am, by Nirinjan Kaur.
Transfiguration is the practice of invoking the Divine. It entails entering into a state of awe and wonder at this divine reality, which is the truth of what we all really are. We transfigure ourselves by entering a state of mindful meditation, connecting with our own love, and remembering how beautiful and sacred we are. Through this practice we manifest more divine awareness within ourselves.
Transfiguration can be practiced eye-gazing with a partner. After self-transfiguration, we open to behold the beauty of another being. With eyes of wonder, we look beyond the mundane features of the person and see their deep inner essence. We enter a state of childlike curiosity and compassionate loving that can literally transform the person before our eyes. Here, we invoke a state of being where the divine becomes intimate with herself.
4. Eye-gazing during lovemaking
Maybe this one is obvious, but it’s worth covering because it’s so powerful! Here’s how you can try out eye-gazing during lovemaking:
- Set the intention together with your partner: this lovemaking session will be a little different – we’re going to practice eye-gazing and see where it takes us.
- Go really slow – like 3-toed sloth slow. Inhale together; exhale together.
- Forget about orgasming, forget about performing, forget about all the other stuff around sex. Just use this time to drop in together and be present. Explore together!
Emotions may come up, and that’s ok. It’s actually really beautiful when you can hold each other as locked up feelings and wounds start to clear out. Give it a try once and see how it goes.
Matt (& Leslie)
P.S. – If any of these practices really have an impact for you, we’d love to hear about your experience. Send us an email or better yet – post about your experience to our Ritual Facebook group!